Superstition

I'm really not a superstitious person. Really. I don't mind Friday the 13th, we own a black cat, well, you get the picture. But it's awful hard not to be superstitious when it comes to your child and cancer. But, I decided it was finally time.

Marielle finished her chemo in November, 2007, so 15 months ago. Not only that, she had her broviac removed well before treatment ended, actually back in May 2006. But, I couldn't bring myself to throw out all the broviac care supplies. I tried. Many times. I'd open up the cabinet, see them, think "now it's time" and then close it and walk away. Was I tempting fate, throwing out the broviac care items?

Now mind you, these are not things you use in everyday normal life and they take up a whole lot of space, a whole shelf in the linen closet. They don't have a use if you don't have a broviac. I mean when was the last time a normal person used saline flush or heperin? When was the last time you needed a surgical mask? Or just for fun, blunt end canulas? See where I'm headed here?

Today, I put superstition aside and dumped these things once and for all. I took a step toward belief....belief that cancer is behind Marielle for good. Belief that these are things we'll never need again. And I'm feeling proud of myself....and just a tiny bit scared that I'm tempting fate.