I know I'm a horrible blogger. I only write when the spirit moves me and that darned spirit is one lazy son of a gun, so I don't blog that often...
But since Ralph's been gone, Marielle has been sleeping in my bed with me. Every night. Now, I had looked forward to stretching out in the queen size bed, being able to lie any way I wanted and not have another living soul next to me, but Marielle had other ideas. She's concerned about me. She doesn't want me to be lonely at night. (It's very lonely sleeping alone at night, did you know that? Just as Marielle. When she's in her bed, there are no less than 25 stuffed animals on the bed with her every night so she won't get lonely.)
Have you ever slept with a 7 year old in your bed? Here's the thing...they move....a lot. They don't know about the "your side of the bed" rule. They don't realize that people normally sleep with their head at one end and their feet at the other. Oh, and Marielle is a "whapper". She likes to flail her arms around when she sleeps. She lifts them up and the allows them to come crashing down and believe it or not, half the time, at least,one lands on my face. Not fun, being woken up by a hand landing on your face in the middle of the night.
But, you know what else? One of the best things about having Marielle sleep with me, is when I crawl into bed. I'll lie there and look at that sweet, innocent, sleeping face. She looks so little, so young, as she sleeps. All the baby memories flood back to me. I have to really control myself, not to hug her. What is it about a sleeping child? It just moves my heart.
And you know what else? Both my kids are solid sleepers. I mean solid. I can turn on the light, turn on the TV, the dogs can bark, the phone can ring and they don't wake up, they sleep right through. But, when I crawl into bed, at least 3 times a week, as I'm lying there, drifting off to sleep, a little hand reaches out and holds on to mine, and I fall asleep hand in hand with Marielle. It's like she has mommy radar. She really doesn't wake up, she never remembers it in the morning, but there it is, that little hand grabbing mine.
Now, how can I not love that?!
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