Monday, January 26, 2009


That's how Marielle's blood counts look. We had our clinic visit today. Her numbers are perfect across the board. Now, if you haven't walked this path, you can't imagine how it feels when we do a blood draw. My mind say, "Look at her, she's healthy, she's strong, she's doing great" and yet I worry until I actually see the results. I try to forget about it but it nags the back of my brain.

See, I just don't know if I could do it again....of course, I know I could if I had to, but 2+ years of chemotherapy, watching your child suffer the side effects, all the emotional turmoil that comes with it, well, it's the hardest thing I've ever done and I really, really don't want to ever walk down that path again.

So, I'm on a high today, hearing that her numbers are perfect, hearing the oncologist say that she's so strong (no lasting Vincristine side effects), she's grown 1.5 inches since summertime and lost .6 of a kilo over that same time period, which means the steroid weight is gone, gone, gone!

So, today, life is good!